Chuck spent years controlling all weather for the Northern hemisphere before realizing that his efforts were imperfect and were generating complaints, so he moved on to a writing career. Words are almost as difficult to control as the weather, so it seemed an appropriate lateral move. He spent the next 20 years as Editor of Pipes and tobaccos magazine, honing his skills and becoming moderately knowledgeable about pipes, refining his expertise until becoming entirely unemployable and incapable of conversing about any other topic. He left P&T for convoluted reasons only he understands (he showed up here saying, "I want job. Gimme job."). Despite his apparent inability to communicate in person with other humans, his concise summary of his needs charmed us into giving him a chance.

Chuck collects pipes, pipe tampers, and locks of hair from ventriloquist dummies, which he displays in his office (his walls are entirely composed of doll hair. No one else goes in there). His only other hobby is singing show tunes while gargling Diet Pepsi, a skill that he demonstrates at far too many meetings.

Responsible for most of the editing and a big portion of the writing at Smokingpipes, Chuck is the person to contact when you see mistakes or anything that just isn't good. He seems to thrive on failure, so do call him with complaints anytime, day or night. Be sure to mention that his writing skills are equal to his weather control. He loves that.